They Didn't Prepare Me For This In College!

Funny Teaching Stories From My First Week Back in 6th Grade:

Scenario 1: Ghetto what?
-Me: Okay kids, for today's writing prompt, I want you to pretend that you are having a dinner party and you can invite any 3 people you want -- people from the past or present, family or famous. Write about who you would invite and why. What would you serve for dinner, what would you talk about...
-Student 1: Can I write mine ghetto style?
-Me: Uhhh, excuse me?
-Student 1: Ya know, nothin bad, just with some ghetto flava -- ya know, a little ghetto slang!
-Me: (Trying to keep in mind the importance of diversity and not squelching the desire to express oneself...) Uh, as long as your topics are school appropriate and I can understand it.

Fat chance of the latter happening!


Scenario 2: You like fat WHAT?
-Me: "Student 2," do you know why I may be pulling you in the hall to have this conversation?
-Student 2: Uh... (looking away)... cuz I said some things.
-Me: Do you want to elaborate?
-Student 2: I was just talkin about what boys talk about. Those girls thought I was being mean, but I was complimentin them -- I like girls with fat asses.

Okay.....


Scenario 3: Wolf boy
-Me: "Student 3," why do have no work done after 10 minutes?
-Student 3: (LONG pause) My pencil's not sharpened.
-Me: So why don't you sharpen it?
-Student 3: I don't know where the sharpener is.
-Me: Did you look around the room?
-Student 3: No.
-Me: Well, why don't you try that.
-Student 3: (Looks) Oh, there it is. It's on the wall by the door.

How CRAZY is that. Ten minutes later...

-Me: I see you still have no work done. What's up?
-Student 3: The sharpener didn't work that good.
-Me: Well, how might you solve this problem?
-Student 3: (Long pause) I don't know.
-Me: You really have no idea on how else you might be able to get your pencil sharpened?
-Student 3: ....................no
-Me: Maybe you could borrow someone's sharpener.
-Student 3: (stares into space)
-Me: Could someone please help him with his pencil!

GRRRR.

I talked to the counselor right away and she's like, "Yeah, you're going to have to treat that one as if he were raised by wolves! He's been home schooled his whole life. He's never even set foot in a school. He has no social skills and next to no academics. Good luck!" Oh MY!

Well, it's a few weeks later since that first week and you know what? ... I love those kids! :-)